Monday, January 29, 2007

Is It Enough?

I write to my husband everyday, mail the letters once a week, send a care package once a month and tell my husband many times when he calls that I love him and am proud of him. But I still ask myself...Is it enough???
Yesterday I was looking at a scrapbook that a wife had made for her husband and I thought to myself.... Should I make a scrapbook for my husband? Shouldn't I make him something that expresses my love. Something that takes a lot of time and effort to really show him that I care and love him? Never mind that I made him a small paperbag scrapbook shortly after he left. I felt that I should do something nicer, bigger. I already have a scrapbook of just the two of us planned and to add to his Army scrapbook, but I was thinking that now I should also make one that combines his life as a soldier and my love for him, even though I really don't have the resources(pictures, album, time, right paper, etc) to do it.
I was also looking at couple of MySpace pages that wives have made for and about their husbands(truly awesome pages, too!!) and I felt a little inadequate. However, I do not have the desire or patience to make a MySpace page. I would rather make something tangible for my husband or write about him here. I am more a writer than a designer.
So all this got me to thinking if I was really doing all I can to let my husband know how much I love him and appreciate him. I felt like I should be doing MORE. Especially since I have the time and don't have kids to concentrate on. But I know deep down that my husband knows he is loved and appreciated and that I do a lot to let him know. I know that he appreciates the letters and packages. I know that I tell him every opportunity I get how much I love him and how proud I am of him. But sometimes it still doesn't seem like enough.
One thing I did end up doing as a result of all this angst was to write him a poem. I will put it in a separate blog(to follow). I am going to rewrite it on a nice piece of paper and decorate it before sending it.

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