Friday, September 19, 2008

When candy goes bad....

WARNING ... This blog may be offensive to some readers.

Okay, whren i was 17, my cousin Jenny got married. Her wedding was the first of many to come within a 5 year span!!

Anyway, we had a wedding shower for her and it was the first wedding shower I ever attended. I am surprised I ever went to another one again......

I am going to share 2 of the things I remember most from that party.

First, we played a game called pass the salami. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds. It is like pass the orange(where you pass an orange from neck to neck), only instead you pass a big salami from between your legs. The bottom part of your legs!!!(we didn;t want to get too raunchy!!). That in itself was embarrassing enough. Then you have my mother who decides that not only is she going to play this game and walk across the room to pass the salami, she is going to do it in a fast waddle with her arms and hands up by her shoulders(like making little wings), flapping them!! I almost died of embarassment.

The other thing I remember -- they made candy on a stick. One candy was a purple heart with a white sillouette of a bride and groom. I got one for my grandma. The other was a bit of a mystery. It was a tannish color, narrow, with a rounded tip. I decided to get that one for myself because it looked like they used chocolate and I liked that better. I showed them to my mom and said "I got this heart for Grandma and this thing for me. I think it's an arrow to go with the heart, but it's kind of a weird arrow." My mom, by this time, had started smirking and looked at me and was like "that's not an arrow". So I ask, "well, what is it then??" And my mom, who is trying not to laugh, is saying stuff like "you don't know?" or "you can't tell what that is?" Um, no.

I'm sure by now you have probably guessed that it was a part of the male anatomy.

I got it about a second later and was like "OMG!!!" and I put it back because eating one of those in front of my mom or even just taking it home in her presence or knowing she knew I had it was just a little icky!!.

Good thing I didn't take that home to Grandma!!!

At this point I should probably point out, too, that this was a strong and strict Catholic family and the fact that they came up with the game Pass the Salami and made peepee shaped candy was quite a shock to me!! My mom acting like a twit during the game too was quite a shock(if you know my mother).

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