Thursday, September 17, 2009

My 5 Stages of Reaction to Unexpected Change

Thinking about how I have been reacting to my husband's news of going to fight fires for a month made me realize that there are stages I go through when faced with an unexpected change. I will use examples of this most recent one.

#1 -- Disbelief. This usually lasts only a moment. It is usually caused by a lack of info as well. I could not phathom why my husband would have to go away for a month and learn to fight fires.

#2 -- Anger. This is also short-lived. Usually accompanied by lack of information. I was angry that my husband would be taken away for an extra month before deployment and also that it seemed to be only childless soldiers going. To be fair, I was looking for reasons to be angry.

#3 -- Sadness. This could last a little longer. I cried about an hour after hearing the news, but that was also out of frustration over the drive home and the gate debacle.

#4 -- Acceptance. Usually comes with more info. I accepted the fact my husband would have to go to fight fires. This one almost immediately leads to....

#5 -- Preparation. This is mostly mental preparation. I start figuring out how to deal with the change and look for the positives. I learned we would get extra pay for TJ going away, I thought about maybe making a trip out there as well, and told myself he could get the word to go anyday now. I was betting on Monday.

The info my husband came home with today was that he is officially on standby from now until the end of October. At anytime he could be called up to go there. If he is not called by November 1st then he is off standby. How long he stays out there depends as well, but would most likely be till the end of October. He thinks that if he gets called to go it would be like on a Monday and he would go on Friday, but I highly doubt that. I think it would be a lot less warning, like next day or even same day. But I am mentally prepared for this.

So, as of right now, my husband and I are on standby.

Have I mentioned how much I hate uncertainty?????


~JarieLyn~ said...

Well, on a positive note, you are practicing awareness, which is always the first step towards improving anything. : )

Kim said...

Wow. I didn't realize the fires were THAT bad. I thought things were improving! Guess I don't watch the news enough! Let me know if and when you're coming out.

Kim said...

Robyn :) said...

The standby is in case there are more fires. It is still fire season and they want to be prepared so apparently they have turned to the US Military.

It is unlikely I would get to come for a visit as he would probably be working the whole time.