Thursday, November 19, 2009

Being Home and Planning a Funeral

I arrived home in California on Tuesday morning. When we left Kansas City they had to de-ice the plane. It was 80 degrees in California, though. My mom's cousin picked us up and we went to her house for a few minutes before starting funeral preparations.

First we went to my mom's house to pick up a few things. I thought it would be really hard to be there, especially since she died there, but I was okay. I also looked through the house, making a mental note of what would need to be done and cleaned out and it wasn't as much as I thought, so that gave me some piece of mind. We got clothes for her and I grabbed an envelope of her wedding pictures and a carebear I had bought her.

The funeral home in town I had wanted to go to was no longer in business and their records were transferred to a place in Bellflower. Since I had given the other place's name to the sheriff to release my mom that was where they had to take her. If I had known that I would have picked another place in town, but this place turned out to be really nice and the girl helping us there is so nice.

One problem we are having, though, is getting the coroner to come and sign the death certificate. When the sheriff called from the house and explained that there was no sign of foul play and it looked like natural causes, the coroner determined that he or she did not have to come out. We should have insisted they did because we can't have the burial(or even the casket with my mom at the funeral) until that is signed. We went ahead and planned everything for Friday and the girl at the mortuary called the coroner and explained that we need to have it this soon because my husband is military and on emergency leave only until Sunday and we want him there. Hopefully the coroner came yesterday and everything will go as planned.

My aunt and uncle came in yesterday and we did some more stuff at the house. I went through some things and my uncle sanded the bathroom door so it would shut right. We also talked to a couple of the neighbors my mom knew to give them the information and asked her next door neighbor to be a pall bearer. He has been close with our family for 30 years. In the evening I went to the florist to order flowers. We just got an arrangement for the casket, but for free they added butonieres for the pall bearers and free delivery. They were also going to give us a banner, but I had no idea what to put on it so I declined and a corsage for my mom, but it is closed casket.

It is really weird being home in California and not seeing my mom. I have been wanting to come back for a visit so bad, but not like this.

It is also crazy expensive to have a funeral even with the most basic stuff. Luckily my mom had good savings so it is covered.

My cousin, Claudia, has been absolutley wonderful through all this. She has opened up her home to me and TJ and my aunt and uncle and has helped me with all the arrangements and has done most of the calling to relatives. I do not know what I would have done without her.

I feel like I am actually a grownup now that my mom is gone. I was a huge Mama's girl and depended on her for a lot of things. I even feel more grownup driving her car, which I am not fond of by the way. She loved Buicks and I.... don't.

Today is going to be a more leisurely day. I need to run a few errands, but that's it.

Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Just wanted to let you know that I am keeping you in my prayers. Let me know when you get back into town and if you need anything.
Amanda