When asked what my biggest fear is I will tell you it is death. Not my own, but others'. The 2 people I most feared dying were my husand and my mom. On Monday, my biggest fear came true when I learned my mom had died.
My mom died suddenly Sunday evening and my cousin found her Monday morning after my aunt called to ask her to check on her since my mom hadn't called Sunday night and the phone was busy that night and Monday morning. We think my mom was trying to call for help. I usually talk to my mom on Sunday, too, but since I had called her on Friday I didn't worry too much that I didn,t hear from her.
Anyway, my boss at work had to be the one to tell me. When my cousin called my uncle he had my work phone number so he caled there so someone could tell me in person. They called my husband to come, but he had a lot of difficuly getting released and then getting off post. Finally my boss couldn't wait any longer. When she told me I tried arguing with her. I kept telling her no. That was all I could say. Then I think I told her I needed to get on a plane. My husband showed up shortly after that and I also called my cousin and my aunt.
On the way home from work TJ and I stopped to buy a suitcase. I told him that was the first thing we needed to do since we needed a big one. We also called Red Cross to get TJ emergency leave(I will explain all that in another post on army life). I was able to find a flight leaving the next morning and we got a ride with the shuttle service in town. I did not sleep at all or eat. I also was not able to get to the doctor to get some Xanax or Ambien or whatever and was worried about that. I had one Xanax left from the summer trip we took and took that around 11pm. It calmed me, but didn;t help me sleep.