Sunday, December 20, 2009

Tired of This

I just read on Yahoo that actress Brittany Murphy died today of full cardiac arrest. This upset me alot. Not that I am a fan of hers(though I generally enjoy her movies and think she was a good actress), but the fact that she was 2 years younger than me and died of a heart attack(that's what full cardiac arrest means, doesn;t it?) really got to me.

I am so tired of people dying of heart attacks. First it was one of my coworkers. That was so heartbreaking and unexpected and I really struggled with the why of it. Then another coworkers' brother died of a heart attack(just a month after their mother died, but not of a heart attack) and I struggled with that because the coworker was still mourning her mom and now she had to mourn her brother as well. I questioned the why of that also. He also lived with her so now she would be alone(except for her 7 cats).

Then it was my mom, which was also very unexpected and I really questioned that because I felt like I had been abandoned. And I wondered why people I knew or relatives of people I knew kept dying of heart attacks.

Well now it is someone I didn't know personally, but I know the pain her family is going through. I struggle to make sense of her death as well since it was cardiac arrest. Maybe she was doing drugs or had an allergic reaction to something. At least that would make more sense, but if it comes out she just had a heart attack then I really don't know what to think.

I just know that it breaks my heart a little more every time I hear of someone dying from a heart attack.

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