Continuing my unplanned series on deployment, today's post is on copng with deployment. Specifically how I deal with it. It is probably not the most healthy or sound way, but it works for me.
First of all, I do practice the tried and true method of STAYING BUSY. It does make the time go faster and you feel really productive. It also helps get your mind off of things for awhile. It also helps to have a good support system. last deployment I made friends with an amazing group of girls and we really helped each other through it. I do not expect to reciprocate that this year, but I do have a lot of great friends that I know will be there for me in little ways. Having my cat also helps me from getting too lonely.
My number one coping strategy, however, is ignorance or lying to myself. Yes, you read that right. I lie to myself about how dangerous his job is(or isn't). ignorance helps with this. I will give you an example. During TJ's last deployment his job was to escort Iraqi truck drivers from point to another. Convoys, basically. In Northern Iraq. I told myself that since it was not near Baghdad it wasn't as dangerous. That IED's were not so common anymore. Yeah, right. My husband almost ended up being killed by an IED, but I did not learn this until AFTER he came home, which I am grateful for because it would have blown my nice little fairytale beliefs to heck. My husband aided in my delusions by NOT TELLING ME things. I liked this. I did not want to know just how dangerous it was. Most of the time they are not supposed to tell us those things anyway. I am fine with that!!
We are still not entirely sure what Tj will be doing when he goes back over there in November, but I will construct some little story for myself on how the danger is minimal and keep it at that.
Now don't get me wrong.....I do know there is danger and that at any time I could get a call that he is hurt OR, God Forbid, they show up at my door in dress uniforms with the Chaplain, and in some way I am mentally prepared for that, but on a day to day basis it is better to lie to myself so I do not worry. It is better not to worry than to worry about nothing at all, right? No news is good news.
I probably need some psychiatric help.
By the way, I do have an FRG meeting tonight and I will tell you all the juicy details later LOL