Thursday, April 22, 2010

Pity Party Planning

Although it is months away, I have been thinking about what I will do when my husband deploys. Not what I will do while he is deployed(because I have lots of plans for that), but the day of and immediately folllowing when he deploys.

I have come up with the idea of a PITY PARTY. A time where I can feel sorry for myself a couple days then move on.

Last time he deployed I did not allow myself much of this time. Basically the day he left was it. I dropped him off(I will talk about this another time), went home, took a Xanax and slept. Called my mom later, cried a lot and slept again. The next day I went to Super Saturday(a day of craft making)at church. In a way it was good to get out right away, but I think a little period of "mourning" is healthy, too.

So, here is my plan. Obviously I have no idea what day of the week he will deploy so the days I will be celebrating my Pity Party are undetermined. I plan to take the day of deployment and the day after off from work, at the very least. Maybe more.

After hubby is gone I plan to come home, cry, put on new PJ's and slippers, curl up on the couch with a comfy cover and fluffy pillows and my cat and watch TV or favorite movies. I will have a bunch of favorite foods and snacks and desserts as well.

The Pity Party will be a solitary event. I will be in no mood for conversation or entertaining, especially if someone else's husband is deploying that day, too. I just want a time where I do not have to be strong and can just wallow and feel sorry for myself. I know some people need or want someone to commiserate with, but not me. I just want to feel sorry for myself, by myself.

The Pity Party will only last about 2 days, 3 at most. After that it will be time to get on with my life for the next year without my husband. I am hoping that by allowing myself those couple days of despair it will make me stronger for the long haul. I realize there will be many hard days throughout the deployment and more pity parties may be in order, but for now the plan is just for the days of and after deployment begins.

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