I feel overwhelmed when I think of TJ leaving and not being here everyday and it feels like I will not be able to bear it, but then I remember the last time and how after a few days you fall into a routine and get used it. I also think that this is why a pity party will be beneficial because I can take that time to feel overwhelmingly sad, then pick myself up and get into a routine that is the new normal.
I told TJ tonight that before we go on block leave in August to see his family we have to talk about what will happen if he does not come back. I know that no one likes to even think about those things, let alone talk about it, but it is better to prepare ahead of time. Obviously, he will need a will (everyone should have one, I have one), but I am also talking about things like where he would be buried, the service, stuff like that. I have already told him that I would stay here because this is where my life is. So that would beg the question of do we bury him here or back in Florida and we need to make his family aware of our intentions so there are no surprises or arguing if the time comes.
On the other side of that coin, he also needs to be made aware of my wishes should I pass on. Morbid, I know, but it is stuff that needs to be addressed.
Deployment still seems like a long way off to me, but it is on my mind. I like to be prepared as much as possible. Mentally and physically.