Tuesday, February 19, 2013

When Anxiety Rears Her Ugly Head

Because I take Celexa regularly for anxiety and depression I so very rarely get flareups of extreme anxiety, so when I do it sometimes take awhile to figure out what is going on. Especially when I have just had stomach flu because my anxiety feels like nausea most of the time.

Which is what has happened over the last couple of days.

Normally when I have more than the normal anxiety (which is controlled with Celexa) I just get a racing heart and it most often occurs when I wake up in the morning. It usually goes away by the time I get to work.

This time it is lingering. I am worried, but not about anything specifically. I can find plenty to worry about (bills, asteroids, doing my job well, fire, tornados, winterstorms, etc), but nothing is causing the worry. I do not feel anxiety and think "this is it--this is what it is about!". I just feel an overwhelming sense that something is wrong and it is making me continue to feel sick.

Of course, I could still be feeling the lingering effects of nausea (which I think is a part of it), but I think the anxiety is making it worse.

I have an idea of where the anxiety is stemming from. It is 2 things. One, my job and two, the big storm coming tomorrow night. I kind of had a rough week at work last week. It weighed heavily on my mind over the weekend. Today went extremely well, though. I am optimistic again and feeling better about my abilities. Yet the anxiety remains. We have a huge winter storm rolling in tomorrow. Normally I find storms exciting and I have prepared for this one and do not specifially feel any anxiety about its coming, but I think just the excitement and uncertainty is fueling my anxiety.

I have not felt this level of uncontrollable anxiety since the first time I had an anxiety attack nearly 10 years ago. I have the tools to deal with it, though. I am continuing to take my Celexa (I may have missed a dose or 2 while sick, which could have also contributed) and I took a Xanax. I am allowing myself time to relax this evening and not worry about cleaning or anything. I am going to take a hot bath with lavendar epsom salt. If I am still feeling bad tomorrow I will go to the doctor. The biggest thing I have on my side is awareness of what is happening and knowing when I need to ask for help. The litmus test will be when I try to go to sleep tonight. If I am constantly waking up with a racing heart then it is to the doctor ASAP!

If you have any other suggestions I welcome them!! Once after I was diagnosed with anxiety I had a brief attack and it entered into my brain to change my bed sheets and I kid you not, I felt instantly better after that simple thing! Not gonna happen this time as my winter sheets are on the bed!!! LOL.


Emily Adams said...

I hope the storm isn't too bad and I hope you feel better!!

That corgi :) said...

Oh Robyn I feel for you! I understand anxiety and the feelings you describe. I'm not taking anything for it right now, but I remember in the past having to remind myself to breathe because I just felt so anxious. You're doing all the right things, especially getting into your doctor if you are having trouble keeping it under control.


iowajewel said...

hope you feel better soon!