Sunday, October 20, 2013

10 Weeks

Well, the only thing to report this week is the panic attacks I have been having. Today was another rough day. I woke up with a panic attack and pretty much had them all day. Not sure why it was so much better yesterday, but I am hoping tomorrow is better than today. I am planning to go to work no matter what.

I think I have also started feeling more nauseous. That may be because of the panic attacks OR the nausea is causing the increase in panic attacks! I first noticed it last night so maybe that is why I feel so bad today. I also have a slight fever and possible chills. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish if it is that or anxiety. Basically my body is a mess.

The hardest part of panic attacks and anxiety is feeling like it will never get better. The hopeless feeling is what kills me.

I am also so tired.

1 comment:

betty said...

(((Robyn))). I know when someone is living through something like this, they wonder if it will ever be back to "normal" or if things will ever be okay again. I have learned, and I've been through a lot in my 55 years, believe you me, including anxiety attacks and depression, that "this too will pass" as hard as it is living through it. It is not hopeless, though I know it feels like it is.

Few years back son got into trouble with the law when he was a senior in high school. It was a tough time and my anxiety was at a pretty high level. I had to remind myself to breathe at times. I literally survived with lots of visuals in my head, seeing Jesus carrying me as a sheep over his shoulders or in the palm of his hand. I would draw pictures of a big circle representing God and a small tiny circle representing me, realizing he was bigger than anything I was going through.

I know its not the same as you are experiencing, but I would absolutely panic driving past a police car wondering if they were coming to arrest son or if someone came into our gate (it made a clicking noise) I was sure it was the police, any time the phone rang I knew it was always going to be bad news about something son did (which wasn't the case). So I understand panic and anxiety.

It is consuming and tiring and frustrating and scary.

I do promise you it is not hopeless, even though it may sound and seem like it. I do promise it will get better, when, I don't know, but I do believe in all my heart it will.

Wish I lived closer; I'd sit with you through your panic attacks and help as much as I could.

I really do get it.