Sunday, April 13, 2014

It's MY Baby

Wasn't really sure what else to title this post, but a lot of what I am going to talk about does not even have to do with me lol.

Anyway, the closer I get to my due date, the more protective I am feeling of my child and I have a lot of empathy for other pregnant women and the struggles and issues they are facing. A big one is the question of who should be in the delivery room.

I belong to Baby Center and participate on the message boards quite often. One thing that I see a lot of is people posting about family members wanting or insisting on being in the delivery room with them. And the posters usually are uncomfortable with these people being there. This can range from in laws to siblings to even fathers of the pregnant mommies!! I was always comment the same thing... it is the pregnant woman's choice!!!! It is HER baby and her body and she needs to be as comfortable in the delivery room as possible.

I do not understand how people feel they have the right to be in the delivery room if the mother does not want them to be. It is not an event like a party or a ceremony. It is a human being coming out of another human being's body!!!!! That is very personal and intimate. The only people who should be there are people the mother feels comfortable with that will support her.

I am lucky that I do not have this issue, being that I live in Kansas with no family. I was able to choose two friends that I am extremely comfortable with having in the delivery room in addition to my husband. However, I really do not think any of my family or in laws would insist on being in the delivery room. And since my mom is gone I would probably be okay with my mother in law being there. But it would be MY choice.

Now, a bit about me. I know that I share a lot of information on this blog about how I am feeling and what I am experiencing, but when it comes right down to it, it is my child. Sometimes I feel like I am sharing too much, but I am writing this for posterity. As mentioned before, I am feeling more and more protective of this little peanut as he grows. I am more protective of who I let touch my belly and what I want to say about him here and on Facebook. I am getting to the point where I do not want to share too much of him because he is mine. Does that make sense?

I will continue, however, to post my weekly updates and after he is born I will introduce you to him and hopefully write his birth story.


betty said...

I totally agree, Robyn, and I'm glad you wrote this post and I hope you'll take my advice into stride and then choose what is best for you and your family. As you know, I rarely these days talk about my son because after 25 years, he's still my baby, LOL, and I never have said his or my husband's name on my blog nor their pictures, nor pictures of me, other than Koda, no pictures, other than my name, no names. You might want to do the same with your baby because we have absolutely no idea who is reading our blogs and I cringe when I go onto a blog and I see a lot of identifying info about kids, what schools they are in, their names, etc. We need to protect our kids and one way is to keep them safe in cyber space.

My suggestion and again this is only my suggestion is that you don't reveal his name on your blog. Make up a nickname for him. If you want to share his name with people you know in blog land, ask them to send you their email address and you have the choice of if you feel comfortable knowing them well enough to email back his name. Birth stories are okay to read, honestly, to be honest because I haven't experience childbirth I usually just skim over them, its nothing I'm too interested in reading about, but that is just me. I know a lot of people like to read them and share them.

Totally agree it is your choice who is in the delivery room. Like I mentioned before, I was in the delivery room of a dear friend, but she invited me (I just had the thought it would be nice, but never said anything to her; she asked me a short while later and of course I said 'yes'; I'm sure it was a God thing. In the room was her husband obviously, her mom, me, and her grandmother but when it came time for the delivery, her grandmother was squeamish so she left. Outside waiting, when it was real close, was my friend's in-laws. She would have had her sister in the room with her too but something was up with her sister and she couldn't get a hold of her.

If you choose to reveal a lot about him in blogging form, you might consider a private blog where you invite in those you want to read your stuff, no one else has access to it.

Again, these are just my thoughts; I know you'll make the best decision for you all!


Kim said...

I agree with Betty. And even though I'm opinionated (um, how long have you known me? lol), I'd never demand to be in there. That's so rude!