I pretty much gave myself a false sense of security thinking that since I was not even dilated that baby would not come anytime soon. And although there still isn't any sign he is ready, it can just happen!! So, I am mentally preparing myself now that if it happens it is okay that I do not have everything done, because I have what I need and TJ can finish the cleaning and setting up.
I have been fluctuating between not wanting Peanut to come anytime soon so I can enjoy my belly and his movements and wanting him to go ahead and come so I can start my maternity leave and get some discomfort relief. But mostly the maternity leave. The discomfort has been minimal in my opinion. The worst is heartburn and I have found ways to deal with it effectively. Round ligament and sciatic nerve pain have been worse because of all the cleaning and stuff I have been doing, but sitting and lying down mostly takes care of that. Trouble sleeping and exhaustion could better be dealt with if I could take more naps and not have to get up early. And all would be a lot more manageable if I did not have ANOTHER cold. I am not sure who got me sick this time as the usual suspects did not seem sick or get that close to me, but I know it came from work.
Last week I started weaning down on my anxiety medication to half a dose. Yesterday morning I had a panic attack. The night before I think my milk was coming in and I was extremely itchy on one side and it took awhile to find something to stop it. Then I had a hard time sleeping. At 5 am I woke up with anxiety. I tried breathing through it, but it didn't really work. After some tears and just feeling like crap I broke down and took another half of Celexa. I tried to figure out what caused it and the only thing I remember is dreaming about either kneeling down or going barefoot on carpet. That certainly was not helpful lol. I was planning on going to work, hoping that would help me feel better, but I was just feeling so crappy and having a couple more crying episodes that I felt it best to stay home. Plus I got sick. Then I got really tired and felt like I had taken a Xanax! I doubt the 1/2 Celexa caused that (it does not make you feel like that and could not have worked that fast!!). I felt like such a failure, but I know I had to do what was right for me and Peanut. I attempted a morning nap but woke up an hour later with more anxiety. I took a Tylenol pm and then in the afternoon attempted another nap. The first hour I kept waking myself up with snoring which pissed me off. I slept for 2 hours and had reduced anxiety when I woke up. I took a shower and washed my hair. I rested for the evening and got some dinner. I started feeling depression, but was not feeling hopeless. The depression later lifted. I took 1/2 a Unisom to help me sleep through the night. It helped somewhat.
Which brings us to today. I woke up with anxiety, but made it to work. I was in a lot of pain. Not the regular round ligament, but in my pelvic area. Luckily I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon. Guess what??? The baby has dropped!! That is why I have that pain and pressure. Other than that I do not feel any different. I think it just happened so hopefully now I will not have any more heartburn. I don't find that breathing is any easier either, but of course I still have a cold. I also got to have a quick ultrasound because when the doctor tried to get the heartbeat with the Doppler it was difficult until she checked higher. Then she was worried he was butt down and she was feeling that instead of his head. The ultrasound revealed he is in fact head down and he is long!! We could also see him practicing his breathing!! She said that is a sign of a healthy baby!! After my appointment I went to the birthing center to pre-register and got to see a room again.
Decisions made today... I will start my maternity leave next week due to the increased pelvic pressure and pain brought on by baby dropping. It could also mean labor is coming soon :) Also, I am going to stay on my Celexa for my sanity.
Other fun stuff happening...my bowels are softer. This is also a sign that labor may not be far off. And you know with my issues in this area with this pregnancy this is a huge difference lol. I think I finally had a Braxton Hicks contraction last night, in my back. It was pretty intense and like a rolling pain. The doctor said it could also have been a muscle spasm, but also related to my body getting ready. And lastly, no Group B strep!!
And here is what 37 weeks looks like
Let's see if I get to 38 weeks!!