So, my induction is scheduled for tomorrow night at midnight. I guess, technically, that is the next night lol. Monday to Tuesday. They schedule them at midnight to get the most out of your insurance coverage.
I am quite excited about being induced. Not nervous at all. I like the idea that I will have somewhat of an idea of what to expect and when. For someone with anxiety this is extremely helpful lol. My bishop at church calls it "programmed pain". I like that I have time to bake cookies tomorrow for the nurses and that we can take our time getting ready to go to the hospital. It has been a load off my mind knowing that there is an end in sight and not having to wonder every day "is today the day?" even though there was the possibility that it could be ANY day. I just was able to tell myself TUESDAY. If nothing sooner it WILL BE TUESDAY. I know some people get nervous about having to be medically induced, but I seriously have no concerns whatsoever. Aside from the medication not working lol.
It is highly likely that I will have a C-Section. This is not something I ever really thought about. I knew my doctor was not for it unless absolutely necessary and I figured that I would deal with it when it became a possibility. Which is exactly what has happened. Once I knew that it was a very likely possibility I began to mentally prepare. My initial concern was that I would not be able to immediately hold the baby and this upset me. Knowing what the procedure will be, though, has helped. Again, with anxiety, it is always best to be as prepared as possible and know what to expect.
I always said that if I needed a C-section I wanted to be knocked out. However, my husband can't be with me, then. And after carrying Peanut for 9 months I want to know the minute he is born and see him so being knocked out no longer seems ideal. I am very freaked out, though, by the idea of being awake while I am cut open. I know I will not be able to feel it, but still. I have been told I can be given something for anxiety during it so that is good.
After he is out they will cut the cord and bring him to me so I can see him and kiss him. Then he will go to the nursery with my husband to get cleaned up and have his tests done (with a vaginal birth they would do those things on my stomach and in the room). In the meantime I will be sewn up. I am told I can be knocked out for this part and it does not last long so I will be awake again within the hour to hold my son. Once I am done they take me back to my room and bring the baby and I can start breastfeeding :)
I am really not worried about the recovery at all. I know it will be painful, but I get meds including Percocet, which does not knock me out so I can take care of my son. Plus. I have had an apendectomy before (okay, VERY different) and I healed very nicely and easily from that. I know this will be a harder and tougher recovery. It looks like hubby will not be going to AT with his reserve unit (because it starts on the 6th and they did not want him leaving so soon after the birth) so I will have him to help me. Plus friends who are willing to come over and help.
The last thing that has been on my mind is embarrassment at the hospital. But not about the usual things lol. The number one thing I have heard people say they are worried/embarrassed about is pooping during birth (in the case of a vaginal birth). Not only does this not embarrass me, I fully expect it to happen!! It is not shocking as the nurses have seen it all. What I will be embarrassed about is...cussing!! Specifically cussing out medical personnel. More specifically the doctors or midwife. And although I am sure they have heard it all I have a pretty valid reason for being embarrassed. I know them outside of the hospital. The head doctor's kids go to the school I work at and so does the midwife's son! My doctor's daughter will be going there as well. I will feel horrible if I am mean to them, even if I am in pain. I will feel horrible if I am mean to the nurses, too. I know they all know that I will not mean it and will be speaking out of pain, but still. I don't want to be mean to my husband either.
So, those are just some of my thoughts on the upcoming birth of my son. Scout will have a post tomorrow, but after that it may be awhile :)