I know it has been months since I have posted, and I keep meaning to, but life gets in the way. I still have every intention of starting up again, especially in the summer when I am not working full time.
Today, though, I am blogging again and it is not a happy reason.
Around 4am on Saturday morning Scout went outside. This is not unusual as he likes to explore at night and in the early morning, coming home normally at 6 or 7 for breakfast. This time, however, he did not come home. I held out hope during the day and on Sunday called the animal shelter, but by then I knew he was not coming back.
I do not know if something got him or if it was just his time and he went off by himself to pass over the bridge by himself as most cats do. He did not show signs of being sick, but you never know.
People keep telling me to not lose hope, that maybe he will still come back, but I know he won't. He would not have stayed away this long. I am devastated and numb. Scout was more than a pet cat to me. He was the cat I always dreamed of having. He was friendly and silly and loved to cuddle. He often slept with me sometimes in my arms like a real live stuffed animal. When I was sick he would stay by my side. He loved to be around me. He loved attention and with strangers would act like we never gave him any lol. When I was pregnant Scout liked to lay his head on my belly and after Peanut was born he liked to sit with me while I held Peanut. He was very patient as Peanut learned how to pet and not grab or hit him. Peanut loved Scout as well and his eyes would light up when he saw him.
I am still kind of in denial that Scout is gone. I have not cried yet (partly because I have a torn cornea, but that is another story) because that will make it more real and final to me. I do kind of wish that if he was sick he would have let me be there with him when he passed so I could tell him how loved he was and how special and wonderful he was. It would also have given me some closure
UPDATE... at 2am last night I woke up to crying at the front door. There was Scout!!